The Big Ugly Blob of Self-DoubtNov 20, 2023
Self-doubt is the big, ugly blob that hangs over everything. It distorts our perceptions and dulls life around us.
I'm not talking about the doubt that has you thinking you might not clear the hurdle because you haven't run track in 10 years. No. I'm talking about the doubt that keeps you from running track in the first place. The doubt that keeps you playing small and hiding in the corner. The doubt that fuels self-sabotage.
Self-doubt is very pervasive, so much so that it seems like it might be part of the human condition in a built-in sort of way. It's everywhere. Talk to anyone and, if they're being honest, they'll tell you they've experienced it. Self-doubt can be subtle, loud, insidious, soft, crippling, depressing, isolating. It's the kind of thing that once it has you in its grip, it can be hard to get out from under.
And, it's sort of like the jack-of-all-trades because it can show up in lots of different ways:
➣ It's the thing that keeps us on the sidelines, watching the world go on around us.
➣ It shows up every time we give up before we even start.
➣ It's the voice that whispers we're not good enough.
➣ It keeps us from sharing our opinions and ideas.
➣ It's the resistance to following our dreams.
➣ It's what makes us sabotage the relationship, the situation.
Can you relate? Have you experienced any of these?
If so, have you ever taken a look under the hood of your self-doubt to see where it comes from?
Maybe you've read books, tried therapy, or gone to a healer looking for answers. Maybe you've tried meditation or journaling to release your self-doubt. Or maybe you've done some confidence-boosting exercises or engaged in mindset gymnastics.
And yet you still doubt yourself, your abilities, your path, your knowing.
So, what keeps our self-doubt in place? What drives the seemingly endless number of times we second-guess ourselves, play small, don't raise our hand, or discount our ideas?
Here is the key:
In order to heal your self-doubt, you need to realize this: it's a mask.
Your self-doubt is cover for the pain, trauma, wounding, and conditioning you're carrying. It's protection, a safety net, a survival protocol. It surfaced as a protection mechanism at some earlier point because it was necessary ... it kept you safe, kept you from feeling rejection, kept you from experiencing embarrassment or fear.
But now, instead of serving you, the protection process keeps you hidden, suffocates you, shushes your voice, stunts your forward progress. Self-doubt acts, in all its varied masks, like a broken record, playing the same thing over and over and over.
These masks are what keep your self-doubt anchored in place. They create a vicious, perpetual cycle. The mask that covers your fear of rejection keeps you from showing the world who you are; every time you think about sharing your gifts and putting yourself out there, your self-doubt pops up telling you that you're not good enough.
How do you beat self-doubt?
You look under the hood. You begin peeling back the layers to expose the masks. These masks will lead you to the triggers, the threads, the parts that are connected to the pain, wounding, trauma, and programming.
And then you heal them.
One by one.
Is it easy?
Is it necessary?
It's the only way to get to the root of your self-doubt.